Healing male energies. Accept the masculine and feminine within yourself Each of us is whole

Recently, it has become very fashionable among us girls to develop femininity :-).

This is all understandable, we miss our natural manifestations. For several generations, women played the male role.

At one time, this was due to historical conditions - the Holodomor, Stalin's exile, dispossession, war. Women had to take everything into their own hands just to survive and feed their children. This led to sad psychological consequences for these same children and grandchildren, but the task of survival was completed.

Today things are different. There is no longer a question of survival. But women continue to live the way their mothers and grandmothers lived - on a galloping horse... well, you understand. It turns out that it is very difficult to trust the world and men again, if before that three or four generations of women could only rely on themselves.

But you can't fool nature. And the longer a woman lives only on male energies, the greater the problems in her life - in relationships, with health. No matter how well you live financially, no matter how successful you are in your professional field, there is still no complete inner satisfaction.

And then “salvation” appeared. It turns out that just discover your femininity, stop acting like a man, and you will be happy. And women, with their characteristic passion, rushed to the other extreme.

They went to training courses on femininity, began to wear dresses, pretended to be meek chickens, and placed financial support on men’s shoulders (and those who did not, developed a complex, because a “real” woman always has money in her nightstand).

Social networks and forums are full of the phrases “sweetheart, darling, beauty, mimimi, lalyala, I love the whole world, all men.” And it’s also not comme il faut to declare his opinion - this is not a woman’s business, women don’t argue, they are silent to the tune, and only nod, looking admiringly at their lovers.

I was both there and there.

Until I was 30, I was a man, worse than anyone else. Rarely could win an argument with me. Even men envied my endurance, willpower and intelligence (however, I had neither a family nor a relationship, they envied me from a distance and perceived me only as a rival).

And then I “saw the light” and rushed in the other direction. In the “correct” books, I found out what my “trouble” was and began to eradicate this trash from myself with a hot iron. As you understand, there was something to etch out.

I'm being ironic, of course. Because turning to my feminine essence gave me the opportunity to reveal myself from a new side. My personal life began to move, I was healed of an “incurable” illness, I stopped working and took up work that made my soul sing.

Relationships and strong men appeared in my life (oh gods, but before I thought they were extinct). I learned to ask for help, instead of the previous “doing it all myself.” I could live off a man without remorse, which was previously impossible for me (no one had suggested it before).

But the first delight passed, and I suddenly discovered that... the eggs were the same, side view. Other areas of my life began to collapse.

Firstly, the words “freedom” and “constantly living at the expense of a man” somehow didn’t fit into my head. Freedom for me means living as I want. There is a man - great, no man - great. I live in pleasure and abundance in any case. And this means that I had to have MY OWN money.

Yes, I started living “in the flow”, by inspiration. There are no bosses over me, I want to eat dry bread, I want gingerbread. I want to go to India for a month, I want to read books for days. But this ultimately led to me going to bed at 3-4 am and sleeping until 11-12 pm.

This, in general, is not bad, but I suddenly noticed that I became much less efficient and energetic than when I slept the same 8 hours, but from 10 pm to 6 am. I started skipping more and more runs (it’s bad for girls to force themselves) and generally stopped keeping the promises I made to myself.

And suddenly I felt that I was less and less satisfied with my life. We've arrived.

I began to be ashamed of my inner strength. A real woman “cannot” be strong. If she wants a strong man to pay attention to her, she needs to be weak, soft and submissive. Otherwise she is not a real woman. I began to control my temper so as not to inadvertently appear too “masculine.”

But it turned out that suppressing your power is akin to trying to stop a tsunami. I was very upset. For some reason, God gave me enormous inner strength, but in fact I had to suppress it. But I kept trying.

But more and more often I felt that something was wrong here. And one day I had to call a spade a spade. And to admit that in a state of refined femininity, which suppresses any manifestations of inner strength, I still felt the same inferiority, only with the opposite sign. Still the same inferiority.

What difference does it make to a lame man which leg to limp on? He's lame anyway. This is exactly how I felt when I began to crush the male part inside me and reveal the female part in return.

But the trick is that the feminine and masculine are two poles of the same energy. Both feminine and masculine in their pure form, separately from each other, cannot exist. Only together they give LIFE.

And every person, regardless of gender, has both principles. This is not God’s mistake; he did not invent this so that a woman would correct her wrong throughout her life. It’s just that this is a prerequisite for a happy and fulfilling human life - to combine two poles and balance them.

And “salvation” does not lie in turning into refined young ladies who are afraid to express their opinions so as not to injure the already fragile ego of men. It’s not about being ashamed of your strength, as I began to do. And in order to

accept, heal and balance the feminine and masculine within yourself.

This does not mean that one should not reveal femininity. Necessary. But not DUE to the suppression of the masculine, but TOGETHER with the disclosure and recognition of the masculine in oneself.

We women know very well how attractive strong men who are capable of tenderness become. But tenderness is feminine energy. In the same way, women only become mature when they accept both parts of themselves - male and female.

And they will accept it - this does NOT mean they will suppress the masculine in order to reveal the feminine in its place. This means they will begin to love and cherish both poles of their manifestations.

Actually, the question is: “How?” I offer you a technique that I once found on the site Irina Norna >>>.

Despite the apparent frivolity, I was surprised by its effect. At the very least, enjoy and relax. And ideally, you will deeply feel the two poles within yourself. And hear their desires and their pain.

You need to take children's plasticine of three different colors and mold three figures from them. The first figure will represent your feminine side, the second - your masculine side. The third is you and your current state.

When you sculpt the figures, just be aware of who you are sculpting. The shapes of the figures and colors are not important. It is important to just mentally concentrate and be aware of what you are doing.

When you make the figures, place them in the shape of a triangle. In this case, your male and female parts should face each other.

After this, you turn to the figures and say: “My dear Anima (female part) and Animus (male part), I ask you to express your feelings and claims to each other.”

Now start speaking on behalf of each character. You imagine that you are Anima and begin to speak on her behalf. Then imagine that you are the Animus and do the same. In general, exactly the same as children do when they play with themselves. Say whatever comes. First complaints, grievances, then wishes. I suggest you write all this down - either on a tape recorder or in a notebook.

And after that, on behalf of the third figure, you say: “Dear parties, thank you for coming, for speaking out. Now our task is to draw up a compromise agreement. Please tell me what I need to do so that each of you feels my recognition, love and respect.”

It is very important for you to acknowledge each side. And now listen to everyone about what they want. Listen to the other side to see if they have any objections. And if he objects, what does he offer in return? And find a way to satisfy the requests of both parties.

Below are the answers of my inner Women and Men to the question “What do I need to do to make you feel that I love, accept and respect you?”

Woman:

1. Take care of your body and give it pleasure (manicure, pedicure, preferably in a salon, always a beautiful hairstyle, delicious face and body creams, scents, laser hair removal). Do all this not because it is necessary, but with the thought that this is how I show love to my inner Woman, nourish her and give her recognition.

2. Learn to do EVERYTHING with pleasure. There is no pleasure in not doing it. And if something “must” be done, come up with some trick, how I can do it with pleasure.

3. Get creative. Anyone. This way I will reveal my limitless abilities and establish a connection with the Soul. Figure out what I would like to do and do it. By the way, I have already come up with an idea - creating beautiful things for the home using decoupage technique.

4. Purposefully address the issue of revealing sexuality. Not just like that, but purposefully, as if I were learning a foreign language. For example, dance Mandala, take a course of dynamic meditations and do exercises every day to reveal sensuality.

5. Start expressing your sexuality freely, stop being shy about it. Wear only nice clothes, do not allow yourself to speak in a normal business voice, but get used to speaking in a soft, low voice. Walk softly even if I'm in a hurry. Always remember that I am a sexual being.

6. Heal your childhood traumas that have recently opened.

I want to say that this was nothing new for me. But for some reason, only now I felt with every cell that with these actions I praise and nourish the feminine part of myself, show her honor and respect, and show my love. And if I want other people to value me, then first of all I need to begin to value myself, not in words, but in deeds. And my inner Woman told me how I can do this.

What happened next was even more interesting. My inner man spoke and he asked:

1. Accept it, turn to face it and stop being ashamed of it, stop perceiving it as something wrong, and deny it. And begin to joyfully and openly express it where it is appropriate and useful for me.

Here I had to be stunned, because this is not what I have been studying for the last 4 years. Suddenly I realized that despite the fact that I lived on male energies until I was 30, I still did not accept my inner man. On a subconscious level, I believed that this was “wrong.” But it turns out that in order to be a full-fledged mature woman, you need to fully accept the masculine part and joyfully, with dignity, express it where appropriate. It even relieved my heart :-))).

2. Bring discipline back into your life. Remove the belief that discipline kills femininity. On the contrary, it is discipline that makes femininity mature.

Where can I apply discipline?

— introduce a constant and regular habit of drinking at least 2 liters of water per day. Not as it turns out, but every day.
— sign up for Mandala dance classes and attend them not out of inspiration, but twice a week according to schedule.
- get up early. Even if not immediately at 5 am, but start waking up at the same time, and once a week shift the time of waking up by half an hour.
- daily jogging, regardless of the weather. Yes, I will have to use willpower. But this is a manifestation of respect for my inner Man. It will also give me enough energy to live and create with inspiration.

3. Establish your cash flow at the level that I prescribed for myself in my plans for this year. So what if there’s a crisis? Stop relying on men's financial help. Rejoice at it, receive gifts with pleasure, but do not hope. I must be sure that regardless of the presence or absence of a man, I always have my money.

4. Become more active in your business, start new projects, offer new programs to people.

When I wrote all this down, I breathed a sigh of relief. It was as if some piece of blocked energy had been released. It was as if I allowed myself to accept all parts of myself and became free. I know that in the future it may not be so easy to implement these points.

If willpower was suppressed for 4 years as something “unworthy of a woman,” now it needs to be restored, and this can be difficult. If many things in life were often done from a “must” state, because it is written so in the book, now I will have to look for tricks to do the same thing from a “want” state.

But for some reason, after this childish game with plasticine, calm and tranquility came inside. The heart knows that it is there - in the recognition of both the masculine and the feminine in oneself - that there is harmony and joy.

By the way, after this, as a sign of the agreements reached, I molded all three figures together and created a new figure that united my male and female poles. Very symbolic. Now it stands on the shelf, reminding me of my promises :-).

How do you communicate with your masculine and feminine aspects? What are they asking you to do? 🙂

Despite the fact that from a very early age we were taught to separate and systematize: these are vegetables, these are fruits; these are animals, these are birds; these are numbers, these are letters - now the moment has come when many already feel urgent need for a state of unity. with our loved ones, unity with the world around us, and most importantly, unity with ourselves, within ourselves.

Nowadays it is fashionable to develop femininity; there are also trainings that help men find their masculine power. But many of them concern only the external, completely depriving us of genuine awareness of the very deep, inevitable possibilities given to us by nature. Nevertheless, no person is able to realize himself in this world if he does not have a manifestation of polar energy.

And people do not notice this moment and do not comprehend it precisely because the understanding of masculine and feminine is very different and very stereotypical in many ways. In addition, this understanding is highly distorted by gender programs and traumas coming from past generations. Trapped in these distorted stereotypes, people deny parts of themselves and act in accordance with a narrow chosen role.

Meanwhile all nature is created by forces that clearly have two directions: One is the power of achievement, the power of manifestation of forms, and the other is the power of preservation and germination. They do not contradict each other, but multiply each other, although one of them is an active and operational force, and the second is supportive and penetrating into all spheres of life.

My dears, it's time to cleanse in us from social stigma, from social distortion and look at your strengths based simply on energy, not on role models. On the path of a conscious life, it is fundamentally important to realize your masculine and feminine aspects and be realized by combining both male and female approaches. When you clearly feel the connection, the combination of polar forces in yourself, when you accept both in yourself, and know how to activate one or the other force at the right time, your life changes radically.

What prevents us from accepting both energies within ourselves?

For both men and women, this is the same feeling - the feeling that I am bad, I am not what I should be, I am not worthy of love, without external achievements I am worthless. This feeling arises from being with others and against the background of dependence on other people's opinions.

We can claim our strength only starting from the stage when accept ourselves as we are. You must understand: You don't need to bring anything into yourself, you have everything you need. It’s just blocked by stereotypical ideas about what is male power and what is female power.

When you free yourself from false stereotypes of female and male roles, when you are energetically both a man and a woman at the same time, this allows you to realize the image that you have chosen at the moment. And then you can easily, while simultaneously being in a state of balance and trust in life, take clear, quick, intentional actions.

Below are a couple of questions and answers on the topic.

— Why do such moments occur when, in the presence of gentle, feminine, subtle, graceful women, revealing the incredible light of divine beauty in the female body, male feelings and reactions manifest themselves in us?

Because we do not recognize ourselves as men. What always sticks out and bothers us is what we have not accepted, what we have not made friends with.

We are all androgynous; we have both energies. And there is no contradiction in this. And it is not we who want to fall at the knees of the woman who delights us, this is what our inner man wants (the genetic energy coming to us from our male ancestors and our past incarnations in the male body). A man who in past eras did not have the opportunity to be free from prejudice.

In the past, a man was a warrior and could not simply revere a woman. And love in past eras was often a way of manipulation, war, sale, and struggle for power. Those. people did not have the opportunity to love freely. And now through you, through your eyes, your male ancestors can admire and love.

There is no need to be afraid of this, no need to fight with yourself, let these energies simply pass through you. Sit next to this woman and have fun. Allow yourself, your genetic male memory, to bathe in these energies.

Why can't you be like that yourself now? Because subconsciously, again from genetic memory, you know that it is dangerous to be an open, happy, trusting woman.

But when your inner man perks up, when you rehabilitate this energy within yourself, you will have an inner sense of security that will allow you to radiate true femininity just as easily and freely. And believe me, the beauties with whom you are in love also have this inner sword, otherwise their feminine essence would not manifest itself so clearly.

Therefore, you should not be afraid of this state, but allow yourself to live it. Understand that in this way you are healing the male line of your kind through the right to simply admire a woman, simply to reverently treat her like some amazing fragrant plant.

And most importantly, do not forget that you can feel the same feeling as for this beautiful feminine woman when you allow yourself to look at yourself through the eyes of your inner genetic man. This is why this energy of honoring the feminine principle has awakened in you, so that you look at yourself differently. After all, each of us (especially “men in skirts”) has the enormous potential of a subtle, creative, sensual woman; we just need to harmonize the masculine and feminine principles within ourselves.

- Why do I feel more comfortable feeling like a young man?

The time of gender roles built on the principle of social embodiment: a man is a fighter and breadwinner, a woman is comfort and emotional support - is irrevocably passed. Each of us carries within us. Each of us is a complete soul. And therefore, happiness is possible only when you know how to be both decisive and gentle; both purposeful and contemplative; both accepting and demanding of certain life values
.
And there is absolutely no point in forcing yourself to dress up in skirts or artificially shut up when communicating with men, “squat down” and pretend that you are stupid if you have already reached the state where you can look at others with kindness and not compete with them.

The sad thing is that in many of us there still lives not a mature man, but an angry teenager who seeks to prove to everyone around him that he is cooler and can do everything himself. This is because the male energy in us is much more distorted than the female energy.

But no matter which direction you are skewed, it is important to realize that this is not the real you, this is only yours. And when you learn to feel like a treasure, raise a resource, you connect with your true soul, with your divine ocean, in which both male and female divine aspects are present.

I wish you acceptance of both sides in yourself and holistic realization. And the projects and materials on my site just help you free yourself from what bothers you and successfully move towards what you choose in this life.

When I accepted my determination and desire to act, my man became decisive and began to act!

We live in an amazing World in which everything is possible. It contains those who have already reached harmony and happiness, and live enjoying every day of life, and those who still suffer and choose to fight every day for their happiness, with themselves, their world, to remake themselves and change loved ones. Moreover, changing it is unsuccessful.

And it seems that everyone lives on the same planet, but they are separated by entire Universes - they have completely different worlds:

Those who have already moved to the level of acceptance and harmony have no need to remake anyone. They see strength and light in every person. Who is here to heal, if you are already whole, you just forgot about it.
Those who are still at the level of struggle and mind games are perplexed as to how one can be so calm and live in joy and harmony.

Hundreds of thousands of people around the world are receiving training to heal themselves. But, understand, by admitting that you are sick or incomplete, you become so. Because whatever we focus on tends to happen.

Read also: and see the positive in everything? It's all about where your focus of thoughts is directed, that's what you see.

Why many of us work on ourselves:

to be loved or recognized;
so that the husband earns more, or becomes more successful;
and so on.

It is important not to remake yourself for someone else, this is what causes dissatisfaction and complaints towards loved ones to grow, but to work on yourself for yourself. To live in acceptance and harmony and, above all, of yourself and your reactions and states.

Admit it - this person reflects exactly your unresolved problems, hidden deeply. Sometimes so much so that in order to see them you need to show them amplified 100 times. The great power of accountability lies in telling yourself honestly.
Work on YOUR challenges and be compassionate towards yourself and those around you. After all, they have their own pain body and their own unsolved problems.

Many women around the world undergo a bunch of trainings on discovering femininity in order to build peace and harmony in their souls. It is important to accept yourself! Including wild, indomitable energy and all the dark sides.

Read also:. No person can influence your life or create circumstances in your life.

Each of us is whole

We have both masculine and feminine principles. It is important to accept all parts of yourself. Is there no man around? Or is there, but he doesn't care about you? And in general, all the men around are weak? Women, revealing their femininity, do not realize that the men around them demonstrate their own masculine energy, very often suppressed and oppressed.

Most often, it is the masculine energy within a woman that needs healing. This energy returns the strength and determination to say “no”, build boundaries, leave a man with whom you do not feel happy, the ability to take action, etc. Men nearby show the image of your inner man, written inside. If the men around you are weak, or there are none at all, then it is necessary to heal male energy.

Test

Close your eyes and imagine the image of your inner man (perhaps your inner man will look like your father, or the man who is nearby, or you will see him as a very little boy who is afraid of everything). Take a look at it, examine it carefully, and then everything will become clear.

Harmony inside creates harmony outside. Femininity is fully revealed next to masculine integrity and strength. But very often women are looking for a ready, strong man. And they don’t admit that they attract weak men to their vibrations. After all, what’s inside is what’s outside!

One day, several years ago, I decided (when I already had an open vision) to make a diagnosis of all the members of my women’s club: to determine the amount of male and female energy inside all those present. I was sure that if the men around me were weak and weak-willed, I needed to work on increasing femininity, which I did for several years, almost unsuccessfully, or with small changes.

My surprise knew no bounds! For most women, internal male energy was like a thin stream, and female energy was like a deep river. My reflections, working with a lot of women, and my own quick results after that, confirmed that I was going in the right direction. In all subsequent sessions, I asked what kind of men are next to a woman. Explained why. And then we worked with healing and accepting the masculine energy within a woman.

Integrity on the inside creates integrity on the outside.

Accepting masculine energy helps your feminine energy to open up to its full potential. Shine in all your beauty. Male energy gives qualities such as determination, fortitude, capable of revealing and directing the spirit of your man to create something beautiful in this world. Female energy is the ability to feel, to penetrate with thought into the depths of all phenomena and objects. This is emotionality, spontaneity and harmony at the same time. It is to be in a state of flow and to Create. Together, male and female energy creates YIN-YANG balance and harmony within you.

Read also:, about why it is necessary to heal masculine energy, about moving to a new level of realization, and the balance of yin and yang.

When you fully accept your inner masculine energy, the man takes off his masks, he has no need to wear them anymore, because he played his role for you. He helped you wake up. Or another partner comes into your life who matches your inner state now. And you and your man walk hand in hand through life, doing a common thing. This is what women most often want.

One of the keys, before that diagnosis a few years ago, was the film “Judha and Akbar”. He gave me the idea that it is a strong-willed, holistic woman who will be able to open up herself and direct the power of a man to creation. And a woman doesn’t have to always be a soft cat for this to happen.

An integral woman will unconsciously test a man, but when she sees him with her heart, she will idolize him, which will make the man a thousand times stronger. She sees weaknesses. Strength of mind and honesty towards herself and others allows her to look openly and not close her eyes to everything she sees in her man, and therefore in herself. And to see means to recognize, and to recognize and not condemn means to dissolve.

If a man has enough courage and does not give up, but perceives this as an opportunity to know himself, he will know his inner woman, and that means the Divine Mother. Through him, a holistic woman will get to know herself and her inner man, and therefore God the Father. Recognize and accept and smooth out your rough edges, restore harmony in yourself.

Level 1 online program of Resource Healing. After completing the program, you will be able to - explore your subpersonalities - the Inner Child, Man and Woman: what state they are in, what they need, what childhood traumas influenced them; — activate your Resource Healing channel and connection with Spiritual Parents, which will give you the opportunity to use energy and support at any time and upon any request; - identify your childhood traumas that influenced subpersonalities - VR, VM and VZh; — heal childhood traumas through techniques and the Resource Healing channel; - form new strategies of behavior with the opposite sex, create new successful relationship scenarios; - heal and improve existing relationships; - while healing, become a healthy, mature and harmonious partner for a relationship and attract a person who matches the level of energy and awareness...

Level 1 online program of Resource Healing

“Inner Child, Man and Woman. Healing Relationships"

It all starts in the depths of the subconscious and feelings. The experiences experienced in childhood, the relationship between parents and each parent towards us largely determine how the inner Child, Man and Woman feel.

How healthy and happy is your Inner Child? Did he receive parental resources: love, support, self-confidence, a sense of inner value and others? If this has not happened fully, perhaps you are trying to fill the inner emptiness through the man or woman you see as your partner?
What's your relationship like? Are you building them as an adult in a resourceful state, filled with love and strength, who is easy to both receive and give? Or are you in the position of a dissatisfied child who experiences mental pain, resentment, despair from not being given what he needs?
Traumatized BP is characterized by an increased need for love with an inability to accept it and a lack of gratitude. The Good Girl/Good Boy syndrome is possible, as the person continues to try to earn love. Often people with BP trauma block their feelings, find it difficult to find what they love, and recognize their desires.

They tend to dramatize relationships in the family, conflict, demand and be offended. These are not all manifestations of Inner Child trauma, which does not allow you to fully live and express yourself.

Perhaps you are already tired of such scenarios and live alone so as not to experience these feelings anymore? Or do you attract year after year the same type of partners, whose Inner Child is no less traumatized than yours?

Happy adult relationships can only be built if your Inner Child is healthy and filled with resources. Then your relationship with your loved one will be able to reach a much higher level, where there will no longer be the same dramas and worries.

Healing the Inner Child opens access to wonderful inner resources: spontaneity, creativity, awareness (remembering) of one’s true desires, the ability to rejoice, lightness, approaching life as a game, bodily mobility, awareness of one’s attractiveness, the ability to accept and give love and many other manifestations natural will to live.

The Inner Child is closely connected with two other subpersonalities - the Inner Woman and the Inner Man.

Regardless of what body we were born into, both sexes, both energies live in us - one of which is manifested, the other is in the shadow.

You might not know that real dramas are happening inside you, the main roles in which are occupied by your inner Man and Woman. These are subpersonalities or parts of the Soul that are waiting to accept each other and experience the experience of true love, integrity and development as a couple.

Our relationships with the opposite sex, our success or failure in matters of love are determined by the inner Man and Woman. By how psychologically healthy they are, what they think about each other, how they see and perceive each other, what they want and expect from the relationship. Perhaps they do not interact at all and have their backs turned to one another.
Or maybe they are in disputes and conflicts.

After completing the program, you will be able to

- explore your subpersonalities - the Inner Child, Man and Woman: what state they are in, what they need, what childhood traumas influenced them;
— activate your Resource Healing channel and connection with Spiritual Parents, which will give you the opportunity to use energy and support at any time and upon any request;
- identify your childhood traumas that influenced subpersonalities - VR, VM and VZh;
— heal childhood traumas through techniques and the Resource Healing channel;
- form new strategies for behavior with the opposite sex,
create new successful relationship scenarios;
- heal and improve existing relationships;
— while healing, become a healthy, mature and harmonious partner for a relationship and attract a person who has the same level of energy and awareness, or
help your current partner develop...
The program includes 4 classes:

1. Introduction to Resource Healing and Channel Activation

Introduction to the Resource Healing method;

Understanding resources as vital energies, 4 types of resources;

What is the Pyramid of Light and Power, how to create it, its capabilities;

Spiritual Parents from the family of Light;

Practice of creating a Pyramid and meeting
with Spiritual Parents, conversation with them;

Activation of the energy channel of Resource Healing

2. Exploring and healing the Inner Child

What is the Inner Child;

When VR is divided into parts;

Projection of VR qualities in marital relationships:
complementary marriages;

Stuck between the worlds of adults and children,
internal dissatisfaction;

Forgotten VR and life crises;

Parental functions for the formation of a happy BP;

Gifts of the Inner Child to the Adult;

Returning the integrity of VR;

Contact with VR and healing of childhood trauma through
Resource healing technique. Group therapy;

List of childhood treasures

3. Exploration of the Inner Man and Inner Woman

Deep dive to the subconscious level;

Study of the subpersonalities that live inside you - VM and VJ, their relationships, expectations, strengths and weaknesses,
negative attitudes;

Creating a Research Map

4. Healing childhood traumas that affected CM and VJ

Using the research map for further work;

The practice of immersion in childhood or the prenatal period;

Diagnosis of a traumatic situation;

Healing her through the technique and channel of Resource Healing;

Realizations and healing results

Lecture from seminars by D.V. Andryushchenko and I.A. Loginova. Written from a raw transcript

“Inner man” and “inner woman” (are the forms that consciousness creates to express itself.

What is the inner man and the inner woman? These are energies in the body that express themselves on a physiological and mental level (masculine, urges for example), these are stories (family and generally from individual and cultural experience) about men and women, these are feelings in connection with experiences and stories and these are metaphors that we create to understand and express ourselves. These are also roles (male and female).

It is important to remain accountable so that the person does not feel like a victim of their parts. It is the human consciousness that gives rise to these fantasies and images; everything is a product of consciousness.

That inner woman and that inner man that we have is a creation of our consciousness, on which our family has worked, we have worked since childhood.

And if something doesn’t suit you, then you need to work, and not cry that “I have such a weak inner man” or “a nasty woman.”

Why does ignoring these parts create difficulties? Because perception is designed in such a way that we project these images onto others.

Perception looks only through some experience. In general, mental functions - for all people - belong to the field. Referring to a perception as “my perception” is an egocentric act. Perception and other mental functions are distributed at the boundary of contact and do not belong to anyone. Perception is a certain process of verification and transformation of projections. (Perception is first a projection, and then the completion of the form).

Perception is a hologram, an endless reflection. 2 mirrors opposite each other: an endless series of reflections. Same with two people. What you project is reflected endlessly. Because your partner begins to project the same onto you.

If you project helplessness, what you see is the endless reproduction of helplessness. If you project violence, then it comes back to you, you project it again, and this is an endless series of reflections.

The only way to interrupt this series of reflections (bad infinity) is to look inside yourself. This bad infinity is the wheel of samsara, it’s not even in past lives, it’s right now.

Turn inside yourself and take responsibility for the form you create.

Feelings, whining, injuries are the experiences of the inner child, and then we work with the body, kind words, direct satisfaction of needs. Analyzing and blaming the inner child will not calm you down.

Another thing is the phenomenon of transference in therapy - when the client’s EGO is identified with the inner child, and the therapist’s EGO is completely identified with the parent, and both derive satisfaction from these roles. The child's EGO grows (the cartoon "Spirited Away", boy Bo), and the therapist's Parent also grows - and then the therapy becomes endless.

Perls writes that the EGO is a function of identification, I identify with the professional role and my EGO becomes a psychologist, I identify with the male role and my EGO becomes masculine. Spiritual teachers say the same thing - that when we identify with something, someone (a thing, a process, a role) - this is called EGO, that is, the process and moment of identification.

What is negative EGO? (which must be gotten rid of) This is a fixed identification, a person cannot disidentify, cannot free himself. (Says: “This is me, a crying and abandoned child,” that is, the EGO is stuck and swells as we feed it).

And when they talk about supporting the EGO function in Gestalt therapy, they talk about freedom, the freedom to identify and disidentify. This is what they mean when they talk about acceptance-rejection.

EGO is acceptance and rejection. (Not in the sense of “Go away, you disgusting person, I don’t like this”), but – I am a man, I am a male role. Then, that’s it – I’m no longer a man (depending on the situation, I can identify and disidentify with different parts). The problem is when I cannot disidentify and this fixation makes it difficult for me to solve my problems in life.

Why can’t I disidentify? Because I am not aware of this fact of identification. I don't realize that I am something much different than the inflated EGO in which I am stuck.

That's why we say awareness is healing, you become aware that you have become strongly identified with something. (for example, with your fear, or with a male or female role).

For example, a woman who once took on a male role - the EGO once became male to solve male family problems, for example, the man was not there, or he died in the war. And then, if she has ceased to be aware of this identification, she feeds this male EGO of hers ad infinitum. And then he complains that he cannot find contact with men, that there is always some kind of struggle, competition.

And it will be healing if she realizes how she has clung to her inner man and over-identified with him.

The cause of clinging is forgetting, unawareness, loss of awareness, loss of memory that I have done this, I am doing this. (Peter Uspensky - self-remembering).

EGO is a dual function, it is identification and disidentification at the same time. If I have become overly identified with the masculine role, then I feel very disidentified with my feminine part. And then there is lack of freedom in using resources.

The more I live in such a fixed identification, my structure changes - my psyche, then my body, my endocrine glands change. This is already moving to the level of physiology. This identification takes on the function of matter.

When you have just become identified (for 5 minutes), it is easy to disidentify. And when you have become identified and live in this for 20 years, then this EGO acquires inertia; braking or accelerating requires a large amount of energy. And at the same time (to push it out of place).

At the theoretical level it looks beautiful, but when you start working, you are faced with inertia. We need a concentration of energy, a concentration of resources that provide energy in order to move this inert mass from its place.

Male and female energy are 2 sides of the EGO (acceptance and rejection), male - anger, female - affection. 3rd – “inner child”, this is a process of growth, this is growth, development - and the child is a clear image of growth and development. The inner child is harmony, it is pure love. The balance of acceptance and rejection is love.

The result of the interaction of the two forces YIN AND YANG is the inner child, or the process of growth and love.

I think that the “inner child” is a product of consciousness, the result of the interaction of the inner woman and the inner man, and not at all the result of parental upbringing in childhood, as many people think.

FOR EXAMPLE:

What specific (male) identifications do we get stuck in? In the modern world, this is the identification of “wounded man”, “sick man, helpless”, when all a man can do is simply reject everything, I won’t do that, I can’t do that, it doesn’t suit me. And this is part of our story - a wounded man drowning his helplessness in alcohol. And a woman who is looking for a man sees wounded men around her, and in every man she meets she sees wounded men.

The cycle is usually as follows (for women):

At first, the woman tries to save and heal this wounded man, and drowns in his gloom, rejection, alcoholism, and suffering. Despair sets in, despair includes the fact that the woman herself identifies with the inner man, rejects this outer man - the alcoholic, and tries to cope on her own.

And he copes. BUT her inner man is the same wounded alcoholic. So she cannot cope completely with these male tasks and leave them, so she gets stuck in these male tasks.

What often happens next? A woman, having discovered that her inner man is an alcoholic, she begins to try to feed her inner woman. If she cultivates a beautiful woman within herself, she will attract an external man. But this is difficult for her, since identification with the inner man is too inert.

Often women come to therapy with the following requests: I’m not beautiful enough, I’m not feminine enough, they blame their inner femininity. At the same time, attempts to support this femininity turn out to be endless. It is difficult to support the inner woman suppressed by the male EGO.

And here it is important to address this male identification and work with the inner man. The feminine is under the rubble of the male Ego: “how can I be feminine if I need to earn money for a child?” Then the path to the inner woman opens.

What makes a woman stuck in a man's state? Fear. Fear for the child, fear of emptiness, helplessness, violence. The search begins for at least some man so as not to be afraid.

A similar process for men:

typical scenario – (the cycle of the helpless man or Female disease in men) – a man whose father is wounded himself, tries to get closer to his father or find him, but the father is either unavailable or completely absent (dead, divorced, alcoholic, or not interested in the child) and this is such melancholy and inner loneliness.

And then the man is identified with the mother, with the feminine part, his feminine EGO begins to swell, he becomes soft, romantic, affectionate and safe. And he is looking for a woman who would awaken strength and inspiration in him.

But he projects a weak woman, abandoned by men - his mother, and that is why he finds such women - tired, abandoned, survivors of violence, women who are afraid to touch male energies for some reason. And he does not find this inspiration and impulse for life and development in a woman. Strives to cling to her, become attached to her and calm down.

And a woman who has little freedom, who is depressed and afraid, allows him to do this. And at first it seems to them that it is very good. The ideal of family life. But the trouble is that in such an inert system that strives for peace, positive changes occur under pressure, when problems and tasks accumulate to the point that they cannot be ignored. And besides, such a structure is fraught with betrayal.

A woman internally feels that she lacks a real man who will support her femininity, beauty, playfulness, joy, not fear, and peace. Comfort from fear only fuels fear.

The desire for security fuels fear. And a man internally feels disrespect for himself as a man, and wants and yearns for this respect, admiration, sexual recognition. And it turns out that the system strives for treason in two ways - both strive for treason - and whoever is first is to blame. In this system, betrayal increases on both sides.

And then the one who has not cheated projects his similar impulses onto the woman. If a man manages to provoke his woman to cheat, then he becomes even more identified with his female EGO, becomes all-forgiving, “wise” and this should be seen as love, he binds the woman in her sense of guilt.

If a man cheats first, then the man still blames the woman, finds admiration from his mistress, but this still does not satisfy him. Since his EGO is female, he still works for this attachment: he makes him feel guilty, blackmails him with children. Anyway, all these manipulations have their purpose - to bind.

The archetypal story of female identification with a man is “Autumn Marathon”, a man cannot refuse anything. And he can’t make room in his soul. At this stage, men often come to therapy: their desire in therapy (secret) is to further inflate their female EGO and force all women to accept the situation, not reject him, and not be angry with him. He usually uses therapy to blame and shame the woman.

Outwardly, he may accept the goals of developing himself, but all the time he slips into these stories - how she is angry, or she is very suffering, or how she is blackmailing him, or how she cannot understand.

Acceptance is needed. But the problem is that he doesn't accept himself. HE is identified with his inner woman and simply does not see her. The task of therapy: not to immediately rush to support the masculine, since the path to the masculine is blocked by feminine identification, but to constantly be aware of this constant identification with the feminine and be aware of inertia, feel this inertia.

You need to feel the inertia in this identification with this feminine Self, and feel your intention to free yourself from the feminine EGO. These men are trying to develop a masculine external manifestation in themselves, while at the same time indulging their inner feminine EGO, this passion for affection and dependence.

Women suffer from a tyrannical male EGO, men suffer from a tyrannical female EGO. Awareness is the light that dispels the monsters that live in darkness. But the trouble is that projection is the direction of one’s gaze at another, and one’s EGO remains in the darkness. Unfold the light of consciousness into the darkness of your EGO. Of course, there is inertia. BUT little by little the light of consciousness dispels the inner darkness. Only if you turn the flashlight inward.

And when a man can disidentify with this thick, inert, clingy, dependent female EGO, then he has the opportunity to identify with the male EGO.

Another obstacle why a man gets stuck in a woman’s mind: fear, and reluctance to recognize fear. Because a man has any relationship with death: war, an attack on a family - a man will defend. And it's not easy to accept this fact and come to terms with it. And it's just scary. And when a man thinks that he can forget this fear, he seeks identification with the inner woman and begins to get stuck.